Blessed Are My Tears

“Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about!”

How many of us heard these words when we were growing up? I sure did. I cried often as a child. It didn’t take much for me to burst into tears. I still hear the teasing from family members and friends with words like, “Annalee is always crying!”

We all have things to cry about, some good, many not. What I couldn’t know back then was that my tears had to do with pain. My childhood was filled with the trauma of sexual abuse and rape. Maybe you can relate. It wasn’t until I was forty years old that memories of  the violations began to emerge. I had lost so much as a result of ten years of abuse. My innocence.  My trust.  My sense of good in the world.  A healthy perception of God.  A  sense of worth, and a life free of crippling fear and anxiety. As an adult, I grieved my losses and the tears flowed. I grieved the four-year-old child who was robbed of her selfhood by those who perpetrated evil on her. And with every subsequent memory, tears fell.

I used to despise my tears. I was always embarrassed by them, especially when they flowed without explanation whenever I tried to share my feelings about the Lord. Every time I spoke of God’s goodness and love for me, or how I saw Him working in my life, I broke down in tears. Even though they were tears of gratitude, they embarrassed me.

I’ve stopped apologizing for my tears. I know now that they represent the grace of God flowing through my life.  In my youth, tears were the means of living with the pain and shame that were left in the wake of abuse. Tears were often the healing balm that comforted my troubled soul and aching heart.
I’ve since learned that tears actually release toxins from our bodies and can make us healthier physically as they wash over and bring healing to our broken spirits.

The next time you cradle a box of tissues in your arms, don’t be ashamed of your tears. Tears are a gift from the Lord. And the next time you sit with someone who is grieving or simply shedding a few unexplained tears, give them the gift of your own tears.

Don’t forget, Jesus wept. He summed it up in the Sermon on the Mount: “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4)

For an added blessing, go to YouTube.com and listen to Brian Duncan’s song titled,      “Blessed Are the Tears.” I think his words will comfort you, too.

 Are there losses you need to grieve? Have you allowed the gift of tears to heal your soul?

Copyright, 2011, Annalee Davis